Creating Boundaries

If you are the type of person who loves to give to others and tends to be overwhelmed and fatigue with yourself, then you may want to read this.

The worst part about giving is that you may be a target of being taken for granted. We live in a society that you have to be weary of those in your circle and environment. I know too well about how this feel. What I have discovered is that I would put others before myself and that is a lesson that I have to shallow. I remember when I was in school, feeling the need to go out of my way help with peoples’ issues. When this happened , my body would just change in temperature and I would become really hot. In addition, my stomach felt achy. Although it is a hard lesson, I have begun to use this lesson to empower others. We all have a reason to be in the world. We all have gifts within ourselves. Sometimes, we have to go what is in our hearts instead of what is in our heads. I am still working on this part of my life but I am growing more aware of boundaries I need to set in my life. You may wonder “Why can’t I say No?” or “Why do I feel guilty when I can’t fix someone’s problem?” This is common to me and others I have encountered.

Steps to think about when creating boundaries:

1. Speak your truth, it is scary but necessary.  You can’t escape how your feel.

2. You are not obligated to be someone’s counselor. You can be a guide for them to solve their problems. Let them figure it out.

3. Being there for someone 24/7. You are obligated to yourself

4. Remaining with friends who emotionally draining you. It may cause long-term effects within yourself and may minimize growth from within.

5. Maintaining negative relationships because you’re been close for so long or you’re related or anything else. Listen to your feeling. It knows.

6. Doing anything that makes you unhappy or puts your health at risk. Your body is the barometer and it can tell you what is good or bad for you. Trust you gut (It is telling you something)

Boundaries are sometimes lessons we have to learn. It is an important piece to the growth process. We are always learning and trying the best we can each day. Allow it to bring grace, love and harmony to your soul.

“I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it”-Maya Angelou

What changes do you want to make in your life today?

30 Comments on “Creating Boundaries

  1. Oh yes, boundaries are important. I cut the toxic people from my life. I don’t have time for it. I used to say yes a lot, but now I don’t worry about it if I say no.

  2. Great article. I think In our society we’re often guilted into “stretching our self too thin” this is a great reminder to have healthy boundaries, thought sometimes it might feel like we’re letting people down.

  3. After a lifetime of abuse, I finally went to counseling and learned about boundaries. Four years later, life is much better and all my friends say I am a different person. This information is good for everybody to read and learn about!!! Thank you for posting.

    • I am happy you have identified it and got help for it. It is never easy, especially years of abuse going on. I am so proud you are in a better place for it and are connected with friends that noticing this growth. Thank you for sharing

  4. I remember when setting boundaries the key word is always no. It sets the limits of what you can do and what others can do to you. It’s so important to build the no muscle.

    • You have made the first step into identifying what you would like to set boundaries to. Write out a list with positive things within your family and on the other side challenging things within your family (be specific) then make a small change. You don’t have to do everything on your list on one day. Gradual steps. Thanks for sharing.

  5. What a great thought, it can be hard to limit oneself when you love to give others. This is a problem I face sometimes when I was a teacher. Because you want to give your 110% to each kid but you need to limit yourself.

    • Learning balance is key. I know exactly how you feel with wanting to give 110% to each child. As long you are aware of it, changes can occur.

  6. Creating boundaries is so essential for good mental health. I was affraid to sometimes speak my truth & sometimes failed at setting them. It’s something so essential, we should never forget about our own happiness.