Life is a journey, not a competition

How would you evaluate your life thus far?

Some of you may feel as if you have not accomplished what you wanted.  That is ok.  As I sit here, reflecting on my age (37), I realized that my life has been redefined. 

What is life?

As a child, I was always into learning new skills in certain subject like science, math, sports (basketball, volleyball, Soccer and Track and Field).  In addition, I won a part in a play called Anne of Green Gables.  It felt easy to just go with the flow and do what I wanted.  When I think back, I was very hard on myself to perform for my family to be proud of me. 

Remembering my mother telling me “It’s really good” if I received a good grade or excel at a sport and winning MVP (Most Valuable Player). When life turned challenging, I always had my sports to run to. Also, I won many awards even MVP and Athlete of the Year in both elementary and high school. At that time, I was on top of the world. All the external accolades I was getting, made it feel like this was the right way to be fulfilled in life. Until I was in college, this changed for me.

Going on a road trip with my basketball team!! #beinggoofy
Accomplishments at the end of my college career!!
Receiving my leading scorer in the Ontario College Athletic Association (OCAA) league

Growing Pains

One of my biggest accomplishment was winning MVP on a Varsity Basketball team in College.  In addition, captain of the team, leading scorer in the league and received the Athletic and Academic Achievement award.  You would think I was on top of the world. Well…I did not.  My feeling was like an imposter.  Crying a lot and did not look at my awards for about 3 years! I put them in a cabinet so I would not see it.   Writing in my journal, which was very therapeutic for me.  I was on my way to discovery.  Everyone on the planet is here for reason.  It was for me to look inside to find real fulfillment.  I realized that I was looking outside of myself for answers.  This was my journey.

Wondering

Reflecting Back on my Childhood

My father was not much of a communicator.  Most of the time, I can remember him just yelling instead of talking to me.  I would just go into my shell.  My mind did not understand and I would ask “why?”  He would say things such as “Don’t talk” or “You are so rude.”  My mother would just look on and did not do anything.  There was no emotional support like a hug or a word of affirmation.  Crying without understanding what was happening in the moment.  I had to take care of myself.

The weight was on my shoulders. Pressure to perform for other people was becoming so exhausting.  If I did not do well; there would be this loud tone of voice of disappointment.  I remembered crying, confused, frustrated as if it was my fault.  Now, stressing to “performing well” was conditioned in my mind.  I am the type of person who loves challenges and will fight through any obstacles that would come my way.  Thinking back from elementary school and high school, when I hung out with my friends, there was a part of me feeling misunderstood.

Reflecting

Peeling the layers

Coming to terms with the uneasy feelings you have can be challenging. A question that would repeatedly come up for me is “Why do I have to explain myself all the time”?

It was a struggle for me.  As the years went by, I was growing more distant with pattern and rules that my family embodied.  I was feeling lost in my family.  The pain felt so real, sometimes physically painful. Teachers were guiding lights for me.  In fact, I absorbed information from them but did not speak up.  I had to find my voice. It was a bit uncomfortable at first to speak but eventually, I made it through.

Once this came into fruition, I allowed myself to “just be.” I had nothing to prove to others, only to myself. My gut instinct has a funny way to communicate but I was not going to go against it.

Searching

Breakthrough

This quote resonated with me,

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others”-Mahatma Gandhi

One the most important lessons is to keep going and do not give up.  I realize I changed my perception on what life was.  Instead at looking outside of myself, I came within.  This is really when I knew life was abundance, joyful and full the hope.  As a student of life, I will always know that life is a journey, not a competition.

Transformation

32 Comments on “Life is a journey, not a competition

  1. This is so beautifully written. I love the honestly. I like that you don’t shy away from growing moments in your life. Very powerful.

  2. This is an excellent reminder of many things. Not giving up when something is hard is something I have to remind myself of often. Thanks for sharing your journey.

  3. Congratulations on all of your accomplishments! Keep shining! And yes, there is no need to compare with the life journeys of others.

  4. This is a beautifully written story about your journey. I love that you have embraced yourself as you are and found people to inspire you to be true to yourself. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable!

  5. We are always learning on this journey through life. Even the pain teaches us. It can be hard but looking forward keeps us going! Great post, and I love your quote <3

  6. I’m so sorry about your difficult early years. But then you accomplished so much! And now you are able to recognize what got you to where you are and how to become emotionally healthy. You’ve got the world by the tail!

  7. congratulations on what you’ve accomplished. there’s more that awaits! 🙂 and i agree that in this life, we need to teach ourselves to learn from every experience. 🙂 we grow wiser and wiser each day…

  8. This was a beautiful read. I’m sorry that you didn’t have the support when you were younger, but it’s clear reading this that you have found the self love and inner beauty necessary to accomplish great things. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us – It’s a great reminder of our ability to overcome.

  9. Yes, “Life is a journey, not a competition.” I wish more people would realize this. I really dislike the mean-spiritedness I encounter due to jealousy because of this.

  10. Excellent post. I have to agree completely. For years I was rushing forward: Get the degree, the job, the house etc. But then it all caved in when my mental health took a turn. Now I just take it easy and go with the flow.

  11. This is such a powerful post and I totally have to agree. I’ve spent so much time comparing myself to others when one day I realized I just need to make ME happy and not worry about what other people think.

  12. Good for you for sitting with those feelings and working through them! YOu have accomplished so much, you have a great deal to be proud of!

  13. an amazing post ever… It is so true that life is not a competition but most of us thinks like life is a competition and spend most of time on useless things…. it is a good reminder… Thanks for sharing them…..

  14. I agree: life is all about experiences better and worse and it is only yours. it doesn’t matter how other people live

  15. I totally agree. Life takes us to a wonderful ride and the journey we need to enjoy. Stay safe!

  16. This is a a beautiful and powerfully written post! I admire your vulnerability and honesty!!

  17. That is very very true, it is all about the journey, I can’t agree more but that said, this is often discarded especially when we face obstacles.

  18. Great story thanks for sharing. I love the honestly and it takes a lot of effort for us to move forward. But the journey is all worth it.

  19. Congratulations on your accomplishments! That is wonderful and wish you more success in life 😀