How to approach crucial conversations like a boss

Conversations can bring many outcomes. Some positive and some challenging. Anyways, through out it all, it is giving insight to ourselves.

As we embark on a new way of life, messages and emotions are flooded through reactive momentum. Much less, lots of things are being said and actions are occurring. What does this mean? How are we going to take this information and start progressing into the right direction?

Crucial Conversation Course

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place-George Bernard Shaw

About 2 years ago, I went to a crucial conversation workshop. As much as I was able to communicate, I learned different skill sets to enhance my communication skills with others.

In fact, you can never know too much. Always a student of learning. After taking that course, my ways about speaking to another people changed. More awareness and less judgmental. It definitely opened my eyes.

Based on the book “Cruical Conversation” it is defined as “A discussion between two or more people where (1) stacks are high, (2) opinions vary, and (3) emotions run strong (pg.3). There is so many layers to communicating and would love to share some of them for you.

How We Handle Crucial Conversations

There is one thing I know is that we all have conversations. We cannot avoid them as hard as we try. It could be in the workplace, relationship, you name it. It happens. The main points are in handling conversations is 1) we avoid them, 2) face them and handle them poorly and 3) face them and handle them well.

In all honesty, we do not think about how we are in a conversation. Based on our viewpoint, it can be hard to see ourselves as “bias” to our opinion.

To get to the point of these discussions, we must tell our stories truthfully in the process. Once we speak within our hearts, walls can be broken and we can develop a clear understanding of self.

Crucial Stories

The first step to having purposeful conversations is to speak with your heart. The focus is with the feelings. Starting with “I feel….” or “I felt…” Focusing on what you really want to express brings life and honesty to the table.

Furthermore, understand what is the problem you are focusing on. This is vital to making progress and movement towards changes. Being clear and specific will let go of vague and ambiguity. Separating facts from stories will help this.

This phase in the conversation will bring light to vulnerability. Asking this key question while listening to the story “what should I do right now to move towards what I really want?”

The objective within this is to understand, not to reply. Through this, it will lead us through a path of investigation. What lies through the messages given and what is it that I need to know?

Crucial Path

When we proceed to this point, start with what you hear and see. Providing 1-2 facts that we stated in the conversation can bring more understanding and clearly to the discussion. SPEAK. If not now, when? An example for this could be, “I noticed…” or “the last three times we spoke about this…” than express “it lead me to conclude that…” or “I believe that…”.

Try giving feedback before sharing your story, this will lead to a path of action. Also, avoid fallacies, being too forceful or undermining. This will lead to a breakdown in the discussion and can divert to an argument.

In spite of this process, it can bring more openness and acceptance towards one another. This can be a start to growing and evolving within the experience.

In conclusion , we must paint the picture for what the other is thinking to come to an understanding of their viewpoint.

Crucial Actions

Crucial conversations takes practice. It is not a walk in the park but it is something. Expressing true feelings and breaking the ice is part of greatness.

Strengthen your skills are essential to growth. You got to go out there and take action. Suppressing your voice is not the answer.

This quote gives love and strength to the table:

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”

— Maya Angelou

Greatness lies within us. So, let us be free and express unapologetically!!!!!